.png)
I would comb the internet and my local libraries for anything and everything about Witchcraft. I eventually would land in the world of Tumblr. There I found tons of resources and people to talk to and share my thoughts with. I also found a lot of toxicity and false information going around, as well as cult like morals. Soon I found myself more lost, and it was getting dark.
I live in the south, surrounded by churches of all denominations. My grandfather is a priest. I was lucky and happy enough that I was allowed to watch or read books that had anything to do with magic in it.
And so, at 13 I made the choice to leave the Church. It wouldn't be until I was 15 was I able to tell my family I didn't want to go to church anymore. In my defense, I was taking advanced classes in high school and needed the extra time to finish projects and sleep. I would also use that time to look over the internet and local libraries to find books on Witchcraft.
When I was 14 I made my first friend that was a Wiccan. She introduced me to the basics and showed me a few books that I would borrow to read from. I would have to hide them in my bookshelf behind other books, for fear that my family would find them and be disappointed in me. Spoiler alert-They love me and my spiritual path doesn't make them disappointed in me.
When I turned 16, my Wiccan friend gifted me my first tarot deck. It was beautiful and I loved it. Unfortunately she and I had a bad falling out and soon after I had to get rid of the deck. The energy that was tied to it was created by our friendship, so it made sense that the energy would be crazy off. A year later, I would walk into a local bookshop and buy my first tarot deck. Now I know I already said I had a tarot deck before this one, but it was gifted and I no longer was in procession of it.
I still use this deck in readings to this day.
It wouldn't be until I moved out of my families house did I come out of the broomcloset. Little by little I would test the waters to see when the time was right to tell them. I told my mother first, and I remember her being silent for a bit and asking me to promise to still come to church for the important holidays. I agreed, because I knew how much it meant to her and my Papa.
I started to open up to Papa more about my thoughts, posing them in historical reference or research. That's when he mentioned St. Brigid, and how he always felt that she was my saint. I mentioned to him that she was the only Celtic Goddess to become a Saint, he smiled and nodded in a way that said "I know, and I still love you." Later he would say, "You have always been a spiritual person, you have talents. I always knew they weren't meant for the Church."
After that I felt that I had finally allowed myself to be free of the broomcloset. I joined deferent groups to connect and continue my learning. I started doing tarot professionally, and allowed myself to go after my dreams.
Now I am 31, I've been doing tarot for over 16 years, and been a witch for longer. I still continue to grow and learn.
Starting next month I will be reading and journaling using the exorcises found in Kelden's The Crooked Path. I will be posting my responses to the exorcises here on my website. Please feel free to join me on this journey! You can buy a copy from your local book store or Amazon.
Comments